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No More Lies
I’ll admit it. I’ve been holding out on you, O Loyal Reader. I’ve strived to keep it a secret for as long as I’ve been writing this fine publication, but I can no longer do so because the cat has...
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A Very Twinfamy Christmas
Remember the unbridled childhood excitement of Christmas Morning? The insomnia-inducing obsession with the sheer possibilities of the bounty Santa Claus would surely leave under the tree? Staring at...
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Adventures in Baby-Proofing: Part 1 – There Will Be Blood
I wanted to finish baby-proofing our house earlier. I really did. But it’s the thought that counts. I had the best intentions when I began work in October, and have slowly made what I believe to be...
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Adventures in Baby-Proofing: Part 2 – Safety Last
This is Part 2 of the greatest child-safety-lock-infused saga of our time, Adventures in Baby-Proofing. See how the quest for full storage compartment lockdown began here. The baby-proofing latches we...
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Ruh-Roh! (The Pee-Pee Prophecy)
...in which Our Hero consults with E.T. and pee-pee on the future of His Family.
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Poop on the Wall
“Okay,” my wife proclaimed, performing a one-woman evacuation of my son’s bedroom. “I’m not going to freak out, but there’s poop on the wall.” I was proud of her–assuming, of course, that there was, in...
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Sustainability All Through The Town
In addition to classes, a significant portion of my work as a student involves conducting research, and I’m thrilled to report that I recently learned two academic papers I co-authored and submitted to...
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Let’s Get Sh!tfaced, Part Deux Deux
There’s no gentle way to say this–I can smell the difference between my son and daughter’s fecal matter. I could describe their distinct aromas for you in gag-reflex-inducing detail, but have chosen...
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Not So Fast
“Stupid rental car,” my wife growled. “Huh?” I bumbled, snapping out of an exhausted daze. “I thought we liked the rental car.” Having ventured to Maui with my parents, we’d rented a minivan that would...
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How to Lose a Man Card in 10 Seconds
I know how it must have looked to the underwhelmed outdoor mall kiosk vendors. A boisterous early-thirties couple with excellently-defined tan lines bumbling their way through the establishment with...
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